The Journey Continues…

The Journey Continues…

I was writing to a few close friends, whom I treasure, letting them know what was happening in my world. They’ve been concerned, more so than usual, because I’ve recently lost my dearest friend. No. That’s not true. I haven’t lost him. I know exactly where he is, and I will see him again, by and by. But, I will miss him, for all the time I have left on this mortal coil. That’s something I really can’t, and won’t, write about.

We were always very private about our friendship. Mostly because we were both so irritated by the fact, that people would automatically assume that there was “something going on” between us, when we actually had one of the most beautiful, Godly, friendships, that I have ever known. At this late stage in my life, I finally found out, how much fun it is, to have a gentleman, as a friend, and a friend only. He has made it possible for me to develop true friendships with other gentleman, when I never thought that would be an option for me. One of these days, I may write a post in his honor. If I do, it will be about something that would have tickled his bizarre sense of humor.

This journal, that I keep online for, Charlie and I, is very special to me. Sharing it with you, is special to me. This loss is a part of my life, that I somehow wanted to share. Like my friend, the tears, the depression, the heart aches, that we all experience, I usually keep in my private Journal. But, I wanted to have this in my online journal, too. I wanted you to know, that while there is heartache in my life right now, I had such wonderful joy and laughter. Even now, in the midst of my heartache, thoughts of him make me smile. My long time friend, and pastor, Walt, always says, that when a Christian dies, we should clap our hands with joy and say, “Alright! Another one made it!” It is the hole in our lives, the ones they leave behind, that is so hard to face. Death, is a part of the Journey. I wanted you to know, but in death, as in life, my relationship with him, will remain private.

Before the tears start again. Continue reading

A Possible Post? Email to a Friend

A Possible Post? Email to a Friend

“Hello in Owingsville Kentucky First Church of God.  Can’t write more now. Crying too much. (4/17)

(4/18) Unfortunately camping in Kentucky is very different and there’s not a lot of options so we are trying to find some way to rent land or some thing. The pastor has been very gracious and told us we could stay there at the church for a few days, but because I can’t sleep there and that’s becoming extremely painful to stay, we left because I started crying. Two big cell towers less than a mile away.  Back east does help the EMF fields, but once I reach a certain point, it totally overwhelms me.  The horrific burning pain gets so severe, like every nerve ending on fire. So much that I wonder if that is a taste of what hell will be like. I so pray for those souls who are lost.”

(4/23) What? Shocked? I know. Me too. My posts are usually more upbeat. My grammar, even in an email, is usually a little better too. But I left it all as it was. For that too is affected, so severely, when I have been around too many chemicals or electromagnetic fields.  My ability to write, think, speak, walk, they all get incredibly difficult to do. The pain is a nightmare. Most people do not appreciate the absence of pain. For those of you who deal with severe, whole body, pain, which no medicine can relieve, I know you understand.   

Still shocked? Surprised? Perhaps a little uncomfortable? I am too.  Even as I write, I wonder if I will really post this.  When discussing the tougher aspects of my life, which does not happen often, I try to show the funny side.  I dress the pain and sorrow up, in such layers of laughter and silliness, that most people see only the humor, or if they do see past the frills and the chuckles, they only see me as “Amazing Woman” or a “Tough Ole Gal” because I can laugh at my troubles.  Sharing something this personal, this difficult, out here for the world to see, is not, typically, something I do. 

(4/24) Even with dear friends, I usually do not share this much, but this is part of an email, several attempts, that I was going to send to dear friends, who pray for Charlie and I.  Prayer Warriors.  The kind I want to be someday.  They wanted to know where we were now and how we are. There are several people, friends and family, who are concerned, because we have not been in touch. I have been trying to answer each of them, but was having trouble finding the Joy, or even the funny, to share. 

(4/25) These kinds of days are usually logged in my journal, and perhaps that is where this belongs. I have not been journaling, it hurts to write physically as well, during these times, but, somehow, even as I get a little better, I felt it might help others like me, to know, you can survive this battle too, or perhaps it will help someone else to share.  You never know when sharing the tougher side of your life, might help those around you.  Except for the names of my friends, and the dates, clarifications, and corrections, which are enclosed in parentheses, here is the rest of the email. As you read through this, you will see that just getting away from those towers helped my outlook improve. But where the good Lord wants me to live in this crazy journey called life, is still a question. 

“We moved to one campsite (on 4/18) Clear Creek Campgrounds up near Cave lake, but $10 a night seemed too steep, for a shared spot. (It was actually $7.50 confusion reigned still, but Bee Rock would have been $4)  So, we were just able to get to Bee Rock Campground, on the 19th, also in Daniel Boone National Forest, but down near London, Ky.  Lol. As Charles pointed out, we have now been to Italy, Florence, Paris, and London! 😉 We had just enough, financially, and physically, to get here.  Then Charles truck broke down. Olde Bleu is always so polite!  He only breaks down at the most convenient spots! Oh my!  Hey, you have to find the humor in this journey called life, otherwise it would be unbearable! Not sure, but I think we should have stayed at the Clear Creek. Although, coming down here, we may have found a great mechanic to help on Charlies truck issue.  🙂 Isn’t it great that the Good Lord provides for our needs, even if we mess up! It’s even more wonderful, that He can still use us, despite our weaknesses. 

Today is 4/20 but this probably won’t go out til Monday, when we go to town.  Fortunately, no cell signal at all, is very good for me, physically, but makes it difficult to continue searching for a home, and for Charlie to keep up on his site.  Someday he hopes to earn a living, selling his photography.  He is so talented!  I will try to remember to send you a link so you can see his work. 

 (  I remembered!) 

We have two weeks here, Charles is hoping to fix his truck himself, if not, and he never has worked on the clutch before, we have the name of a good shop near here, just no funds to fix it.  We may end up asking for help from everyone.  It depends on so many things. 

We found out that in Kentucky, with the USDA Direct Rural Development Loan Program, you can only have one acre of land with any house. So much for the dream of a few acres. (To keep the neighbors at a safe distance) The house has to cost $60,000 or more, which I can’t afford to do on my own, but they say you can sometimes get a grant to help offset your payments.  Not sure how that all works, but I hope to get the application and proof of income, sent back to them by Monday.  I need to at least knock on that door. (How else will I know, if that is where the Lord wants me!) It also has to have updated electrical equipment, pass a whole house inspection, all kinds of rules and regulations.  But that is not a problem for our Lord, if, and it seems like a big IF, right now, that is where He wants me. Sometimes, I know it is where I want me, but only if that is where the Lord needs me. Other times? I still wonder.  One bad neighbor moving in, using toxic stuff, and my home could be a burden instead. (I could wind up paying for a house, that I could not live in) I’m just not sure how to keep going out here any more either.  Just had to have Charles help me remove a tick!  Ugh!  The creature feature! On second thought, a small house, one acre or less, well manicured, seems totally acceptable! Spent all night checking for icky bugs! Ugh!  Lol. 

 Moving every two weeks, here in Kentucky, is a real concern, because you have to leave the forest for ten days, after every two weeks, and there are not many options, and all of them are expensive. Well, they are when you are used to free! $12 a night here, but, that’s because Charles truck broke down, he and I wound up with a spot for each of us.  Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous, here!  See my pics! The best spots in the camp!  A camp host position, may be available here, but my ability to handle much of anything, even in my own world, seems severely depleted. Charles has to help me with so much.  I am praying a few days here, will help me regain some strength.  Charles came up with a new goal for me to try, maybe tomorrow!  There is a path to the river, right from my campsite!  

I think I can make it tomorrow, if I get off this silly tablet!  Lol. But I so value your prayers, and I am so grateful that you want to know how we are and where we are!  I wanted you to know the good that has happened, and the very difficult. 

You can barely see Charles’ truck in this picture, which is a blessing, because he can edit pictures on his phone, and it won’t bother me! 

The good Lord knew just where to have Olde Bleu break down. I am so close to the river, that it may seem strange to you, that Charles considers that to be a goal for me, but it has been a challenging time.  I am so blessed that Charles is with me!  There is a culvert that one of the streams runs through to get to Rockcastle River, so I can hear the sound of the water gurgling over the rocks!  

It is lovely here!

Please keep us in your prayers.  Both for praising our Lord, and thanking Him for His mercies, knowing that He has a place, or way, in mind for Charlie and I.  It may not seem so, from this email, But I assure you.  I am doing so much better here, than I was in Arizona. So much better!  I just have to learn new boundaries, and that will take time and practice!  🙂 Please let our mutual friends know we are all well, which is true, in so many ways. 

Besides, Macha loves it here!

Thank you dear friends! I am praying all is well, or better, in your world!”

(4/20) I slept some after tearing apart my world to be certain there were no more ticks anywhere, and was able to go for a walk in the rain, across the walking bridge, the next day. A long walk for me! Which meant I slept very well last night, and I am clearer in my mind. Charles also went for a long walk. Miles up trails, and down the highway, seeking signal, and enjoyed it!  I am so excited to see health returning to my son as well!  For that alone, I would do all this again. 

I know that I am still unable to think as clearly as I used to, before all this started. Math still eludes me. My memory and abilty to concentrate on anything, even a conversation with my son, is practically nonexistent. That hurts more than any thing else. But, Dr Gray assures me, that as I follow his regime, I will regain all I have lost, it will take years, but with the strength of the Lord, I shall prevail! Even now I struggle to write clearly, concisely. The damage the toxins of this world, have caused my mind and body will slowly clear up, as I get them out, and keep them out, of my body. I see it get better, each day I am away from this world filled with chemicals.  

Like today. Today is a good day, and I want to acknowledge it. Acknowledge it?  I want to rejoice in it! I walked my path to the river today! I think it is recognizing, that you, dearest friends, and gentle readers, will never know why I get so excited about being able to do such simple things, if you do not know just how tough the hard days really are.  Yet even now, while I still find myself feeling urged to post this, I’m wondering if I will. 

I will, and I pray, the Lord will have only those who need to, or want to, read this.  

April 25th, Yes, we got to town yesterday, but as Charlie’s friend says, maybe I should tell you all this story before it gets longer! 

And Then ….. there were the fireflies! A story for another day! 🙂

And Then, the River was rising! A story for another day! Oh my!

And Then, the van broke down! A story for another day! Oh dear! 

Finally 4/26 post time. Sitting at Gentrys Auto Repair, in Woodbine, Ky. Praying.

For more information on the effects of man-made chemicals and electromagnetic fields, please see the following. 

Dr Gray is my doctor in Arizona. 🙂